A homage to Georgia - the unlikeliest of Euro 2024 knockout qualifiers

Georgia. Little (not so) old Georgia. Georgia as perennial, plucky underdogs. Georgia as a red wall. Georgia as a reminder of why we all adore tournament football. Georgia as written off before a ball was even inflated, let alone kicked. Georgia as improbable vanquishers of Portugal. Georgia as the happiest of upsets. Georgia as Euro 2024 knockout stage qualifiers.

Georgia as the meaty, grasping paw of Giorgi Mamardashvili. Georgia as the emergence of Georges Mikautadze, the ceaseless air hockey puck incarnate, the squat Duracell bunny, the golden boot dark horse. Georgia as Khvicha Kvaratskhelia, the one they lovingly christened Kvaradona, the one who has sagged and softened in Naples this past year, but who has answered the daring plea of his nation when they need him most. Georgia as a swarm of fire ants; omnipresent, itchy, storming the undergarments of the Portuguese and leaving them writhing in discomfort.

Georgia as the artificial life preservers of England’s gossamer dreams, maybe. Georgia as a lesson in gumption to the Scots. Georgia as an unthinkable Hungarian sucker punch. Georgia as a goal surely scored too early in the contest. Georgia as contact without consequence, digitally overturned. Georgia as nerves of steel, legs of granite, spot kicks of laser precision.

Georgia as Willy Sagnol in his rogue Football Manager save file era. Georgia as his sobering resolve amid the bedlam, like a recently divorced Scandinavian detective in a critically acclaimed noir visiting a crime scene for the very first time and honing in on a blood spatter carelessly overlooked by everybody else. Georgia as Cristiano Ronaldo petulantly booting helpless, unsuspecting plastic water bottles in the dugout. Georgia as Roberto Martinez dancing at a Jason Derulo concert in a crisp white dress shirt and tan brogues.

Georgia as Ally McCoist and Clive Tyldsley having a whale of a time gently bantering about Coronation Street and the origins of flags. Georgia as half-time Wikipedia searches; as a population of 3,700,000; as the national motto ‘Strength is in Unity’; as the world's earliest known site of wine making, gold mining, and textile production. Georgia as the birthplace of Katie Melua. Georgia as having fewer bicycles than Beijing, probably.

Georgia as uncharted territory. Georgia as the spunky David to Spain’s suave Goliath. Georgia as a justification for the expansion of formats. Georgia as goosebumps and tears on the terraces. Georgia as celebratory goalmouth pile-ons. Georgia as the word ‘BELIEVE’ spray-painted, crayon-like, in magenta paint across a bed sheet and draped over the advertising hoardings.

Georgia as romance. Georgia as history in the flesh. Georgia as an antidote to trepidatious caginess. Georgia as one defeat, one draw, one win, a perfectly balanced goal difference, four points, and 26 heroes. Georgia as the lowest ranked team in Germany this summer. Georgia as not caring one iota about your entrenched ruling classes, or your form tables, or the respectability of your jargon-heavy metrics. Georgia as vitality.

Georgia as everything, everywhere, all at once. Georgia. Little (not so) old Georgia.